Words Left Unspoken
by x-Quaaludez-x
Summary: That's the worst part about it all. After it's all done and over you decide to go off the deep end. It was over, everyone was free and clear! But you still had to pull that stunt. What about me, huh? Did you ever stop to think how I'd feel? Of course you didn't because Dallas Winston and don't care about anyone but yourself.


Dallas,

I'm not sure why I'm writing this to you now. It's not like you'll ever get to read it, or I'd let you see it. Who am I kidding, you wouldn't give a damn about reading it, anyways. If you bothered to open it you'd probably laugh in my face later. You are the most stubborn, rude, and insensitive person I've ever met. Well, I suppose it's were now. "You were". It's so weird to think like that. Just a few days ago we were at Buck's, holed up in that room of yours. We had more make ups and break ups in that room than everyone in Tulsa combined. There's a part of me still hoping it's all a big joke and you're up there hiding out 'til everything blows over. If it were any other time that wouldn't be a stretch. How that wasn't the cop's first guess as to where you were at, I'll never know. A few more days you'll crawl out for a beer and a new pack of smokes and we'll all have a big laugh about it.

Ever since I heard I've held onto that hope a little more tightly than I should have. It's kind of hard to believe, ya know? Things were never perfect between you and me, but we worked with what we had. I know I did some pretty awful things to you (which you returned tenfold), but I guess I can say I'm sorry for that...even if you deserved it. Truth be told I enjoyed the drama, and all the attention that came with it. There's something so attractive about you when you got all riled up. If I could though I'd give it all up for another shot, or at least a proper good-bye. Of course things wouldn't work like that, everything has to be done on Dally's terms.

What was that all about anyways, huh? You do all this stuff for two snot nosed kids that got themselves into trouble just for them to get into even more trouble? They killed a damn soc, that wasn't your problem. Should have just told them to beat it and slammed the door in their faces. But no, give them an entire escape plan and throw everyone off their trail. I never knew you were so chivalrous. If that were me you would have just called me a dumb broad and changed the subject. Anyone else you would have told them to fuck off. What's the big deal about that Cade kid anyways? He was just another greasy kid used as a punching bag by his folks. Like that's something new 'round here. Welcome to the West Side, kid. Everyone has problems; you aren't special.

Do you know how hard this is on me? Of course you don't, that was a silly question. Dallas Winston doesn't care about anything or anyone. That's the worst part about it all. Here I am, a total mess, because I actually miss you. I _really_ miss you and I miss us. After all that shit is done and over with you decide to go off the deep end. It was over, everyone was free and clear! But you still had to pull that shit. What about me, huh? Did you ever stop to think about how I'd feel? Of course you didn't because your Dallas Winston and you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. And that stupid kid apparently.

You know you're nothing but a coward. Too afraid to face reality and admit to actually feeling and caring about something or someone. Instead you'd rather take the easy way out and let those pigs gun you down. Everyone in Tulsa knows they were dying for an excuse to get rid of your ass, and you gave it to them on a silver platter. Stupid boy.

All along I've been a fool to put up with you. That first night I laid eyes on you I should have turned right around and walked away. Instead you sucked me in with that rugged charm of yours. I never got the chance to tell you, because you probably would have shrugged it off, but I'm pretty sure I love you. Or I guess I loved you. Now that you aren't here I guess I'll never know if you ever felt the same, and it's probably for the best. I like to think that maybe somewhere deep down inside behind those thick walls you've build up and that guard you never let down that you might have loved me, too. Maybe, just even a tiny little bit. Then I realize that isn't true, or at least it wasn't enough to make you want to stay. I thought the only person you ever loved was yourself. You were certainly the only person you ever cared about, but then I realized you didn't like yourself very much either. I guess it was hard being you, harder than anyone realized. I don't think you even really knew what love was, because no one ever showed you, and you never gave anyone the chance too. The world really put you through the wringer in your short life, so I can't say I blame you.

I hope you know despite everything I still hate you for leaving me behind, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to forgive you for it. What I hate most is that I still miss you when you didn't give a damn about me. I've never cried over a boy until I met you, Dallas Winston. Asshole. I don't think I ever will again; I learned my lesson. Maybe someday we'll meet again and we can have another go at it. I think I might like that.

-Sylvia

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**Author's Note:** Feed back is much appreciated. I'm playing around with the idea of continuing this story, although I'm still not sure if I'm going to. So for now it'll remain as a one-shot. Hope you enjoyed!


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